Please remember Mandela National Stadium, Namboole will be for the second consecutive time hosting the prime rugby playing nations of Africa from the 08th of July 2025.
You have gotten into the banter and decided you are finally taking the leap of faith into the madness that is egg shaped. Of course, in this case, 30,000 or $10 is paid up. You feel shy asking whoever brought you around or tips. We got you. Let’s give you a crash course on how to best enjoy the game that is played in heaven.
WARNING: No one ever watches this game only one time, with time you will wonder how your life went on without this addiction. Okay, that is for later for now here we go.
NEVER buy a VIP or VVV ticket, that is a scam for the uninitiated, all the fan, fun is in the nosebleed seats, well unless of course you want to spend time next to the most uninspiring people ever to walk this earth, for beginners choose the crowd.
Always sing the National anthem like you know the words, then clap heartily. All national anthems sound like military nursery rhymes. Please at worst murmur to the rhythm as you go along. That is the first introduction to the fun part.
Wear light clothing even if it will rain, sun shines through the rain always. Short shorts aren’t scandalous unless of course if your legs look like they were made from no exercise but please, don’t be embarrassed to cover your balding head with a cap and your jaundiced red eyed with shades, if you are to wear a suit, add a radio call and we know you are important.
Always organize yourself before the game, make sure your toilet breaks are within the time between games, same order should be for beer runs and snacks.
Boo the Kenyan always, doesn’t matter the occasion just boo them. Except of course if they are taking a lap of honor you make a slight tap of your hands as if in clapping motion as you waste some calories standing.
Sing along, the lyrics are something you have heard somewhere, just listen them mimic, your voice is a mighty contribution and very necessary. The songs come in any language but we promise it isn’t out of your vocal range. OMUCERE…
Be polite and try to shut up when the kicker is kicking. Drop pin silence.
Be on time, rugby kicks off on time and everyone is always ready for kick off, marriages have ended because the bride wasn’t in time for kick off.
Your eyes are allowed to wander and you will see beautiful people. Just wander but always end up on pitch.
If a ball is passed forward, scream REF like your life depends on it, you will be introduced to refereeing songs later. YOU ARE…
Don’t try to find out what’s going on too fast, even us who were bottle fed this oval nonsense have no grasp of the laws, just follow the score board at least you know how to count, sikyo?
Grasp, sigh and moan in equal measure, the pleasure is in those details. A huge hit, a fend, you will see humans in all shapes and sizes doing things you thought not possible.
Go off and meet new people and have some fun, it is allowed. Stick around after the game to learn some new unnecessary details and get involved in the rituals. You will soon be back dragging your very introverted friend from bed to share you new pain and pleasure, happiness is always egg shaped.
