You have paid your hard earned 30k at the gate, kubanga oyagala vibe. Namboole is a huge place, nothing will give you that stark reality like walking from the main gate to the venue which is, in SMACK lingo, dem ends. That walk will not happen alone, you won’t walk alone. They will be fellow revelers, nabo tubabale nga ba fans, like where one or two are gathered, the tower of Babel shall be placed. Rugby fans although only 23, come in every human character possible. Let us give you an expectation. Who you will meet:
The industry plant, the one who doesn’t think that money is a lot, probably got a free VVIP pass because they have a less than professional relationship with some Union official. They stick out like a sore thumb but not wasting time on those ones.
The party animal, lose or win, they will party, to them rugby is a party: pity or praise. I mean the spirit is very Ugandan, I feel this is the person you want to be stuck with on your way to heaven, up to no good but forever the one with the better memories.
The long-lost fan, only turns up for the rugby cranes because their work is in an obscure location, trying hard to locate the people they recall, in a throwback jersey. They are as lost at the changes and are wondering why Sokee is on the mic not on pitch.
The golden gloves event fan, they treat rugby as if brunch and bring glamour, it has a lot of media attention, so it is worth attending. They will spend all the time on phone trying to snap away, and watch out for people they can name drop. Can’t tell the difference between Namibia and Algeria arghh. At least I love the butterfly shades, I can’t name the rest of the outfit.
The lost adult, on any other day Daudi is a responsible father, uncle, accountant and many other adjectives. Today is rugby day and the ghosts of those who love the game are upon him, for this day he is possessed, he sings, wears war paint and drinks. If you have seen him elsewhere, please don’t try to make a connection, you only live once. Join him.
The gatekeeper, he watches every rugby game, he/she knows the last time Philo sweated and he swears, that player on team because of favour. He has done his homework, will turn up early at 9:00 a.m to watch the first teams warm up. He is irritated by other fans not letting him watch the game seriously. He will leave grumbling or silently contented and will give analysis.
The covid fan, learnt the game yesterday but are very irritating to the other fan, they will soon turn serious but for now don’t understand what causes a scrum instead of a ruck.
The veteran, a purple heart for many battles past won and respect earned, trying to enjoy the game but stuck between cheering and giving a coaching opinion. He tends to sit with the gatekeeper, you will know the corner.
The greeter, since they are 23, he will greet everyone before finally sitting down. Don’t get irritated, they do it before the game. They will high five and greet you and hug you, it is secondary at this point like politicians.
The sponsors favourite son, he came early and boy oh boy is he still ordering for another beverage, if it is cold, it is to heat him up, if it is hot to cool him down, a good turn deserves a swig, a bad moment deserves a sip. Banange. If the bottle is near empty, he panics.
The whiskey drinker at a beer event, he/she probably supports Kobs, speaks a lot of English with history to remind you they went to school. Don’t mind them, in the middle of the game the accent changes and the local language comes out, kumbe muntu wawano Kyaliwajala. They will accuse you of tapping.
The shorts gang, you will see grown men, squeezing into what their younger brothers and sons should be wearing at school. Okay I get it you don’t miss leg day but it isn’t necessary to use this day to show texture.
Waliyo ebikazzi gang, he heard that women will attend, he is in attendance. Jesus we are watching Senegal punish Namibia at scrum time but the dullard is asking you if he can get the number of some random chick. Forever scouting this guy. I wonder if a female version exists?
Vampire, you know 5000 guys attended but this guy isn’t one of them, he is here for the after party and he swears he was around. You have never seen him during the day but at night he is at every rugby party.
Magomu/Aredo fan club, jeez they are many rugby players. You can’t only know Aredo and Magomu but it is okay. We will introduce you to Kisiga after the game.
The most important fan of them all, the HATE WATCHER, a long-time paid investor, if he doesn’t reap this time, next time surely will come. Been dreaming of this moment since childhood.
You and me, we have no clue what is going on but we are here nonetheless. We just have to enjoy the moment, we will pick up a few by words and proceed.
Anyway, soon you will fit in the box of fandom. Join the madness.
